About

finefinefine:

After leaving the secluded Zulu village at age five, finefinefine soon immigrated to these United States and was educated at an Ursuline convent. Trying her best to subdue the homoerotic passes of her sisters, finefinefine packed her rosary and habits and immersed herself into the cultural reawakening of the Harlem Renaissance. Quickly attracting the attention of Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela, Fat Albert, and Gwendolyn Brooks, finefinefine’s poetry personified the experience of a young black independent entangled in the strongarm of the white man. Spiraling into a fit of schizophrenic drug usage, finefinefine struggled to combat her inner demons of cultural identity with the oppression of the United States government. While currently a supporter of the Obama presidency, finefinefine has exiled herself to the most islolated corners of the world and busies her time with underwater basketweaving, gin rummy with the aboriginal natives, and BET.

young:

The only living relative of Anne Frank, young has struggled with her Hasidic Judaism and her genetically predisposed Rhineland roots. After joining the peace corps upon finishing at Sarah Lawrence, young traveled to the inner most depths of the Amazon and happened upon the Shidoobie tribe. Taking refuge as one of their own, young adapted to the cultural differences and bore six Shidoobie children, all named George. After meeting a white settler, John Smith, young left her isolated quarters for Manhattan. She soon ascended to the throne of NY royalty, bathing in Evian water, familiarizing herself with a bidet, and subjecting herself to multiple plastic surgeries. Now akin to Michael Jackson’s reflection, young lives off the fortune of her sixteenth husband, Rupert Murdoch and plans to leave their fortune to her Chinese Crested, Ainsley Alabaster Huntington IV.

thingzzzzzz:

High in the wetlands of Patagonia, a child was born. Swathed in nothing but ostrich feathers and his mama’s highwaters thingzzzzzz knew that he was meant for more. He had to have been. It was with a heavy heart, and full bosom, that thingzzzzzz left the wetlands for the glittery stardom that awaited him in japanese kibuki theater. There, he perfected the fine art of japanese fellatio as well as their famed Odori dance, performed by gayshia all over the country. After spending his adolescence whoring around with Ho Chi Minh thingzzzzzz grew weary. Was this life? Wrinkle lines from spending countless nights suckling on the dimpled ass of a has been? Thingzzzzzz packed up his MAC makeup box, his pomeranian Zsa Zsa, and left. Minh says he’s still turning tricks, but our sources say Thingzzzzzz was sighted in Buffalo, NY with a new ostrich feather hat, little Zsa Zsa in tow and a glint in his eye.